| So, how do you feel about this situation? Are you truly over him....? Is it really out of your mind? I think you're living in the past. Trying to stop time as it races forward, leaving you behind. You're still stuck on that night. Putting yourself in that situation and letting him continually stab that bleeding scar. Why do you let yourself go on like this? Enough is enough. Obviously he was and has been over it! So why can't you be? Have fun crying over him while he's in a hotel room with his ex-girlfriend. |
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| Ok so piano contest in Omaha, Nebraska tomorrow...I'm really nervous guys plz pray or something for me.
I'll see you all on Sunday. =] |
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| So the Chicago Trip is officially off....man I'm really dissappointed.
But in other news: just got back from piano camp yesterday (or was it the day before yesterday?) it was basically all about the little azn kids walking around who were freakin geniuses that practiced 121049320395829859328+ hours a day and took courses at colleges. >.< I absolutely hated it! Nothing else could've made me feel so worthless and stupid as that did. So basically while we were there, there was about 5+ hours of practicing going on a day....with like 15 min. rests in between. Plus what made it worse was that there were absolutely no boys everyone there was a girl. Well there was my piano teacher's son (who I secretly lusted after...but let's not go into that) Then there was my recital....which basically sucked ass! I hadn't touched that Rachmaninoff piece since our last recital, which was like two months ago...so when I was suddently asked to play it, of course I had to do some serious last minute remembering and practicing. At first when I totally forgot the B section during our master class I thought it was just nerves but when the actual recital came...I forgot that plus the C section...which made it even worse because I basically just banged at that stupid instument for about 3 measures worth and then went straight to the end. Needless to say, the only good thing about my performance was the fact that I didn't stop. But woopty doo, what good is that?!? In addition, my parents were late to my performance so missed my disgraceful piece. But the bad part of that was that my teacher had to go and congratulate me on what a "good job" I did and how I really nailed that duet. Yeah right. It was the most embarrassing of my life. Especially when my mom was like "did she do well" Dr. Torkelson was like "oh yes, she nailed the emotion...shdjhksejgkjsf.....just need to work on her solo things...sdklatjkjgksajgk...she was stressed..skhkasjgkjskgjkasjgkjs...nervous..sogijaeigjwg" yeah right, load of bull shit!
But yeah, now that that's done and over with...I feel better to just move on with my life. I should start practicing more though. All I know is that if I don't have piano...I don't have anything basically. You know that feeling you get when something is like the only talent that you have and when you realize that you're not even that great at it...it's like you're a complete failure....and shouldn't even try to pretend to be worth something...?
I miss Vincent...come back. NOW
p.s. it didn't help that the camp was at Wartburg either.
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| Forgot to mention...but Monday was 1 month......=]
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